The Progeny Parenting Collection
by SergeantFuzzyBoots
Summary: A series of one-shots set in The Progeny Parenting Anxiety universe. Mostly Leonard and Penny, but might include other couples at some point. NOTE: First chapter Lenny Week Day 4 prompt: Kids/Babies


**So this first chapter is my contribution to the Lenny Week Day 4 prompt: Kids/Babies, but it's also the start of a collection of short one-shots and drabbles from The Progeny Parenting Anxiety universe. So there will be more to come at some point. For the most part they'll be Leonard and Penny's family, but I'll probably include some about the rest of the group also.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

Leonard hurriedly pulled his mug of soy hot chocolate out of the way as the _Jenga_ blocks came crashing down, snatching up Nathan's as well at the last second.

The six year old sighed as he stared at the ruined tower, scowling as Penny and Chloe high-fived across the table.

"Ha, girls remain undefeated!" Penny said, clapping her hands.

"Don't worry, buddy, we'll get 'em next time," Leonard assured, rubbing his son's back when he rolled his eyes at the girls' celebrations.

"We could have a rematch," the boy suggested eagerly.

"Actually," the experimental physicist said as he placed their cups in the sink. "It's time for you to have a bath."

Nathan's jaw dropped. "A _bath_?" he exclaimed incredulously.

Penny smirked, reaching over to push a strand of hair behind his ear. "You always act so surprised."

"Isn't there a point where you out-grow baths?" Nathan protested as his father took him by the hand and began towing him towards the bathroom.

"Sure," Leonard agreed. "That's when you graduate to showers."

Chloe giggled as her brother groaned loudly at this response. Penny smiled at her daughter before reminding her that she was up next. Far less adverse to baths than Nathan was, Chloe had no problem with these arrangements, focusing on getting another chapter of _Chamber of Secrets_ in before she had to wash up. However, she'd barely had time to open the book before she was interrupted.

"_AAAAAAAAHHHHH!_"

Penny and Chloe both jumped as the high-pitched screams of father and son erupted from the bathroom, hardly hindered by the closed door.

The girls stared at each other as the boys' voices continued, fear heavy in both of them.

"Kill it!" Nathan cried.

"Use your Batmobile to squish it!" Leonard instructed, sounding as though he were attempting to put some authority into his voice. It wasn't really working.

"No way! You get it; you're the dad!"

"If you squish it, then I'll clean it up!" Authority had been replaced by desperation.

"But look how big it is! It could _eat_ me!"

Mother and daughter smirked at each other, Chloe having to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

"Spider?" the nine year old asked.

"Spider." Penny nodded.

"Should we go help them?"

The actress held up a hand, keeping her daughter in her seat. "Soon," she said before returning to listening to the boys.

"If you kill it, I'll take my bath every second day for a week!" Nathan bargained.

"You have to do that anyway!" Leonard protested.

There was silence for a moment before Nathan responded. "Sometimes I fake it!"

"You can't fake it; I'm in here with you every time you take a bath."

"Sometimes you're not looking and – aaaah! It moved! It moved!"

Penny shook her head as the cycle of who should be the on to squish the arachnid began to repeat. "Okay," she said. "Now."

The girls snorted with laughter upon opening the bathroom door and finding Leonard back up against the wall, eyes wide with terror as he stared at the bathtub, and Nathan clinging to his father, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He'd managed to pull himself up so high that he was practically sitting on the experimental physicist's shoulder.

When they saw Penny and Chloe, the boys began talking frantically, barely comprehensible as they nervously explained the situation, both gesturing wildly towards the tub.

Penny strode past them, grabbing a wad of toilet paper as she went. In one quick motion, she snatched up the tiny spider and flushed it, even taking a moment to get the bath running before turning to smirk at her boys.

Leonard and Nathan looked down at the floor, mouths moving, but no sound coming out.

"It wasn't even an acromantula," Chloe said, raising an eyebrow at them.

"Acromantula ..." Penny said, frowning. "That's the _Harry Potter_ spider, right?" The Nebraskan grinned when her daughter beamed proudly at her.

"You guys are like the Ron Weasley of the Hofstadter family," she continued.

"Well, we certainly aren't the Hagrid of the Hofstadter family," Leonard muttered, rolling his eyes as Penny stuck her tongue out at him before finally bringing his son all the way to the bath.


End file.
